I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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