I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
high people should be assigned attendants
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
