why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
