"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
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Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
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How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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