this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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