Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
