im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
...so i touched it.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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