So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
