She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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