Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
