I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
