remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
