you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize