If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
