Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
