It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
