I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize