I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
