Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
