That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
