why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
