I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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