Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
