At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize