just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
