I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
