If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize