currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
