My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
