Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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