he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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