What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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