I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
