I could have mohawked her pubes.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
