he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
