she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
