she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Please don't give away my fajitas
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
