your parents love me but you hate me
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
