He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
