nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize