After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
