I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
