I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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