Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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