I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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