But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
