my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
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