You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I have aggressive nipples.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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