69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
