Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
either way he was missing a nipple.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
