something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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