First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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