I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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