3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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