At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
